7months

Es ist vorbei, my animateur saison si officially at his end.

Well I still have a group of Belgians which bothers me for another three afternoons of archery and Beach Volley, but then I don't have to see this Club again.

The Last Month was actually the best, since the other imposing chef Daggy (at the time my girlfriend(yes I'm Stupid)) left one month ago, Im more spontaneous and free to become as crazy as I can.
Whit the other entertainer went everything smoothly and we had real fun during shows.

The substitute Chef Pablo, our schwules entertainment Guru (I tyhink his about 58), was Great and has left us all the freedom we needed at the end of the season.

I'm a bit Sad, an era ended, I'll never do this job again i think, it won't be so good a second time.
At the end I'm proud of myself:

I'm the last leaving
I'm reacher than I ever was
I'm free as a Bird
I learned to be idiotic and not to care about it

Next Im gonna visit my friend Simo who's since more than a year in Northern france whit his british girlfriend, is at the working at Mc Donald phase, and I gotta cheer him up. My brother is coming as well, ( he s in France too as Erasmus student ), I'd like to stay around a bit more before dropping at home to my lost father (he's alone whit my mother and sister(poor guy)) who misses me so much.

And once there, the phase 2 of my masterplan beginns, and is gonna bring me to:


-INDIA-

3

Three months to work hard, three months to decide and get inspired, three months to wait the taste of a new freedom.
I have three plans for the future as well, but they may become more.
Last day I wrote them mixed the paper and pulled them out of a bucket whit my girlfriend, they came in this orther:

India, travel till Mumbay, if possible following a dream where I had to buy my ticket for the first friday of october. I'd stay there till I learn fluent Hindi, spiritual jurney and cultural shock;

America, but then I'd need more money than ill have at the end of this job (that would mean working another six months(getting a pass would be also hard) and in order too get an education there I'd need take credit somewhere and plan it a bit longer, also , i guess not, back to the past and to the american dream that still half filled.

Rome, everybody says is beautiful, Im Italian and i sever sow it, In such a city whit four lenguages I could start a lot, beautiful and in appearance easier, id go to uni get a job and go to theater classes, lets see

I bend, a lot, but havent broken down

I write again from cote azure from the same village and work position.
The Barman told me: why living your job for a shitty childish story, your always gonna have some of these.
And I sayd you are right, thanks Man. I was so off the socks I needed that to bring me back, whit the girl is a bit better but I had to gather so much shit, yoga helped, girls can be mean.
Now i work full power, today I looked at my conto and sow this beautiful number:
1886€ for one and a half months
No matter what happens Ill stick here till september
Strenght. no matter what they say money is the way, thanks to jaky (two times Leo as Inbar)
and than?, whit 7000 in the socks ?
don`t wanna be to loud but

THE WORLD

or...........

a proper education you dummie boy........let`see

Busted

A Notice for my ghost readers, for sake of thruth I told my girlfriend co worker that I liked the other co worker as well as her, and after dumping me she explained the big difference between lying and not saying, well somehow I felt guilty not saying, tomorrow I'm out of here whit the small feeling that everyoes hates me but whit enough money to start again, I need to go somewhere beautiful...........

Das Rote pferd

I'm an animator, the most stupid fun depressing excitating regressive job I ever did, another six months to go, is like signin up for the army, I'll never do it again.
Lukily my friend kevin, a french guy who works at the beach takes me out whit his car to see the world and get in contact with the french youth.
Only bothering feeling is that all the man in cote d azure are bisex and wont accept a simple friendship, I hope they will because they are not getting any.
Last cabaret show I received the laudest applaus after dieing in rallenty, great.
Im getting really fast in switching lenguages and translating, I'm improving my french and keep talking daily in german.
I didn't know that 15 years old girls could get so hot, have to put the brakes, (I'm not allowed).............

Throu me a stone, I´ll paint it blue and red..

Do you love what I say ?
or what I do.
how I look like?
or how I´m.

Frustration attacked last night, and the one before......she won´t come closer.

The girls I like are often in love whit someone else, or they are trying to mantain a long term relationship, of course they like me, or I wouldn´t even try.....

What mazes me Is: how can they like anyone better than me?

My old mean boss says there are two types of girls:
the ones who want it always in, and the one who´d never have it out....

But this reduces too much the field and wouldn´t explain my situation.

But Gianca, a good friend of mine have a real dicotonomy and says there are two types of girls:

the ones who fucks and the ones who don´t.

The ones who like to fuck can have many lovers at once and live a man for another which sperm tastes better (I love you Gianca...).

Gianca takes his lovers as teachers, I rather like to be the teacher, maybe that´s a problem.

I think any girl can float between the two fases in different times, or stuggel between the two.
I see that many are convinced (I don´t know wheter by theyr feelings or beliefs) that true love is focalized on only one person.

I don´t know, in a group of people there is always only a girl that I like best, but really I dream and suffer on all of them ( if they are pretty enough) and when I move somewhere else whit other people my thoughts and passions comes along in the moment.

I´d take as example the countryside, when you live in a small society you may fall in love really whit anyone, from the only pretty girl in the village to the uglier one whit bigger boobs, or even a real cow......

Moving at twenty whit your blonde girlfriend to the city, may put your true love in danger.

Sometimes, walking in the city I like to think on all of them, circling in my head as stars moons and planets, whit different brightness and gravities, some far away and some, right before my eyes.

Redoundant Echoes

Yesterday I was at the call center.
I was talking whit some dude in england when a malfunction in the line occurred and i could hear my own voice speaking, curious and vain as I´m, I started listening at it while the survey litany went automatically out of my mouth.
It was so beautiful and empty, me talking senseless words and listening my electronified echo, the guy enlisting the most popular videogames on XBOX and my hand writing down all he said the same as one hundred previous times. At the end I thought... Maybe if i listen at what I say whenever i speak, only pure words would come out ,not filtered by any kind of thought.
My attention is too much on reactions.
Listening is wiser as speaking, and now I understand why.