I want to explain why I get so mystical at times.
The first couple of months in Hamburg as I settled for a job and a stable place to live I had a period which end coincided whit my first visit back to Italy, since I left it three months before.
This period was a period of anxiety, fearless but redoundant.
A deep wrinkle would form on my forehead, darkening my expression in contemplating all the negative egoic issues I could think about.
(just go and read some of my posts, you´ll find alternatively haunted and catartic moods)
There is noise, bothering noise and from the unanswered questions spring frustration and rage.
I don´t get depressed I get nichilist, reality stops to make sense.
In a world where my feelings are concealed in fiction (movies and books) the only things that bother my existance are thoughts, and they are so many.
I think about the proper way to live, the best.
My eye is restless and starting new things lights up for a moment the only feeling that I´m good at, Curiosity: and the hope that this time I´ll find my thing, my love, my passion.........
My eye admires beauty, beauty can be reproduced fantasized and is not stable enough ground to bring me back from alienation.
Feelings are quickly processed into thoughts, causes and explanations
And my reality fades in abstraction.
As I came back to Italy that first time, my friend Simone (also called Simo Zebra Ziba Zibra,Zibrella Zibo) brought me to a diksha session held by the father of another close friend and three other “channels”.
Diksha is: (source www.diksha.com)
Deeksha is a transfer of spiritual energy to the neocortex of the brain. Deeksha initiates a neurobiological change in the brain that when complete enables the senses to be free from the constant interference of the mind. When the senses are unclouded by the mind’s interpretations, a natural clarity of perception occurs with accompanying spontaneous feelings of joy, inner calmness and a connection to the Oneness in everything.
Deeksha is transferred by the Deeksha giver normally placing his or her hands onto the crown of the head. Experiences during the deeksha vary, sometimes strong, sometimes subtle, sometimes delayed until even days later. The recipient may experience a tingling sensation in the head, or blissful feelings running through the body, or sometimes nothing at all. Whatever the experience, the recipient can trust that the process of enlightenment has begun, a process designed for your own nature that will lead gradually (or sometimes spontaneously) into Awakening
This session was one of the first defined experiences where something unexplainable leads me to know that there is much more to enjoy in the world than we could hope for.
This experience gave me back my hidden sufference multiplied by the one of the entire humanity, the tears were so strong and sweet at the same time.
This energy annihilated my mental noise (Echkart Tolle uses this term) in less than half a minute the reality of my feelings and even a bigger one had than no boundaries to cross.
I´m not an enlightened, most of the experiences I had fail many times to make sense or I don´t have the competence to interpret them, I put forward a couple of hypothesis, and manytimes reading about this realities I do find clarity and causal explanations.
Diksha, as meditation practice and yoga do, open you up to two dimensions, your personal unconscious reality, source of blocages and fears, as well as to an higher dimension where a trascendental encompassing reality is manifested.
Let´s not live in a cage, lets live and feel all the tones of existance
I´m trapped in my thoughts, I´m tasting back my feelings.
If I´m part of a massive illusion, than I´m happier whit it.
I´m exercizing and constatating how my mood swings and my energy flows
in ways that I never expect, last day just laying down in relaxation whit a yoga class I feel an arm touching me and making gentle pressure underneath my heart, I open my eyes and no one is there.
Let´s pay attention to what happens in and around us whitout expectations, that´s the way to inner peace.
There is a whole world experiencing and studing this, let´s listen.........
You skeptic I know what you are thinking, stop it. Doubt does as much good to me as it does to you.
