Shit I´m in a full nichilistic trap.
Sometimes, as I´m with other people, at german lessons, at work; a restless, angry looking,ragefull bubbling of sadness rises up of fucking nowhere.
Why m I here?, I want a girlfriend, I can´t love any that I see because I love everyone of them, crap, I wanna destroy everything, puch a wall, brake a chair, scream, what is this life?, are we building soceties and democracies just not to get bored? What is a system and this universe?, even if my soul is immortal what do I do with it? at the end anything exists can only be, how boring, what´s this multidimensional whatever, why are this revelations complicating everything whith a higher sense? what´s this evolution about? if we are one how can we evolve or change anyhow? and why shall we exist just to help ourselves?and why is it the only thing we can menage to do when our perceptions are not objective.
A sudden violent persistant irrefrenable mental masturbation assaults like a giant octopus my stressed out psychis, in public unpredictable moments.
my father says that is that I don´t get enough sleep
And he is right.

I go to sleep